Teen dating violence: parents beware! Published Feb. 2, 2016 By Debi Hall Family Advocacy Outreach Manager DOVER AIR FORCE BASE, Del. -- February is a month often associated with love and affection by all ages. February is also Teen Dating Violence Awareness month because of the potential impact of dating violence on children's health and development. The goal is to empower teens to develop healthy relationships throughout their lives and to engage in activities that prevent and respond to teen dating violence. The White House has issued a proclamation urging an end to teen dating violence because of the negative long-term consequences of dating violence on America's youth. These youth will become America's future leaders. Were you aware that each year, an estimated one in 10 American teenagers is physically hurt on purpose by a boyfriend or girlfriend? Young people who experience dating violence are at increased risk of substance abuse, depression, poor academic performance and future victimization. Additionally, one in three teens report knowing a friend or peer who has been physically hurt by his or her partner through violent actions which included hitting, punching, kicking, slapping and/or choking. The consequences of these unhealthy relationships can be profoundly debilitating and potentially lifelong. Dating violence often involves the use of inappropriate actions to control a partner or resolve conflicts. These behaviors can be physical, emotional or sexual, and can take place in person or with the use of technology and social media. Teens ages 13 to 18-years-old are at high risk for dating violence as they are beginning to explore dating and intimacy. Current research indicates that about 72 percent of 8th and 9th graders are "dating" and studies also indicate that violent behavior often begins between the ages of 12 and 18. Many teenagers do not recognize the severity of dating abuse, or they do not report it because they are afraid or ashamed to speak up. Only 33 percent of teens who were in an abusive relationship ever told anyone about the abuse. There is a lack of awareness about teen dating violence by adults. Research has shown that 81 percent of parents surveyed either believe teen dating violence is not an issue or admit they do not know if it is an issue, and a majority of parents admit that they have not spoken to their child about dating violence. Teens report that they receive the majority of information on dating from friends, followed by sex education teachers and parents. It is important for teens to talk with someone they trust about dating violence and to learn the warning signs of an unhealthy relationship, which may include extreme jealousy, constant monitoring and possessiveness. Teens will benefit from knowing that healthy relationships are built on: 1) RESPECT and ACCEPTANCE: Does your date accept you for who you really are? 2) SAFETY: Are you being hurt or pressured into doing things you don't want to do? 3) SUPPORT: Does your date care for you and want what is best for you? 4) INDIVIDUALITY: Do you pretend to be someone you aren't just to be liked by your date? 5) FAIRNESS and EQUALITY: Do you have an equal say in your relationships? 6) HONESTY and TRUST: Are you and your date honest with each other? You cannot have a healthy relationship without that. 7) GOOD COMMUNICATION: Do you talk face-to-face with your date about your feelings? Do you listen to one another? 8) RESPECTFUL DISAGREEMENTS: Do you and your date respect each other even when you have different opinions? 9) ENJOYMENT: Do you have fun together? No relationship is perfect, but you should always feel comfortable. There are resources available to assist those who might be in an abusive relationship. The National Dating Abuse Helpline can offer immediate and confidential support. To contact the Helpline, call 1-(866) 331-9474, text "loveis" to 22522 or visit www.LoveIsRespect.org. For more information on dating violence, visit www.VetoViolence.CDC.gov. At Dover AFB, contact the Family Advocacy Program at (302) 677-2711. Healthy relationships are built on respect, trust and equality. Families can influence the development of healthy dating relationships through modeling, reinforcement and communication about the importance of healthy relationships. Our commitment to conveying these values will unite all of us to stand up against dating abuse and all forms of intimate partner violence.