The Situation: Solving civil disputes

  • Published
  • By 436th Airlift Wing
  • 436th Airlift Wing
DOVER AIR FORCE BASE, Del. --  Approximately one year ago, I visited the house of one of my Airmen at the request of his wife's mother; she was concerned because she had not seen her daughter for several days. My Airman answered the door with his child, which was weird because I knew the child was staying with his wife, and the couple had a restraining order against each other. I asked if his wife was in the house, and he confirmed she was - they were trying to sort out their relationship issues together.

I was presented with a problem - do I let this go for now and speak to him at work, or take immediate action? They were getting along at the moment, but if something went wrong and the police were called, he could end up in jail for violating the restraining order. He was a good Airman - I didn't want to get him in trouble, but I had to do the right thing.

After discussing possible solutions with my boss, I contacted our first sergeant and told him my goal for the situation - I wanted to separate the couple to avoid violating the restraining order without having any punitive actions taken against my Airman. We arranged for a coworker to house my Airmen until the restraining order was lifted; his immediate supervisor acted as a go-between for the husband and wife. I took the spouse to court the following day to set a court date. Within two weeks, we had the restraining order lifted and the couple reunited. Through our teamwork, we gave a marriage a second chance and possibly saved a career.

For a supervisor who encounters a similar issue, remember protecting your Airmen is your top priority. I was aware he may have been initially mad when I suggested separating them; however, I knew in the long-run, I was doing what was right for him. You have to recognize the severity of an issue, and act on it, immediately.

Also, don't panic and begin jumping the chain of command. A superintendent will want to be notified before the first sergeant that there is an issue with one of their Airmen. This will avoid any embarrassment or surprises within your chain of command, and will effectively keep everyone in the loop.