You have the key to your attitude

  • Published
  • By Maj. James Kodat
  • Commander, 436th Logistics Readiness Squadron
DOVER AIR FORCE BASE, Del. - --  Looking back over 20 years, it is easy to pick out the tough assignments, projects and life events. For me, the hardest time of them all was simply saying "goodbye" to my family. One such event occurred while leaving my house for a short tour to Korea, only four months after returning from an Operation Enduring Freedom tour. My two youngest boys were crying out "please don't go daddy" and "we'll miss you." Needless to say, it wasn't easy to hide emotions and remain positive as my oldest son drove me to the airport.

Fortunately, I've always been one to look at the bright side. Shannon, my lovely wife of 23 years, considers me overly optimistic, especially in the morning when she's annoyed by my overly-chipper attitude before she's had coffee. Admittedly, it's been hard lately to remain energized with an Operational Readiness Inspection looming.

My first four months as a squadron commander were exceptionally busy, and balancing family with a profession has been difficult. You may have heard the phrase "drinking from a fire hose" - Dover Air Force Base, Del., was no exception. The largest dignified transfer in over a decade, an earthquake and a hurricane all took place in my first month. However, two events helped refocus my perspective back on what matters. The first was a visit to the Air Force Mortuary Affairs Office, and the second was a book I read returning from a conference.

First, as a new squadron commander, I was honored with a tour of AFMAO facilities to see the professional treatment they provide to grieving families. The tour was somber, but our last stop hit me the hardest; we were allowed into the sacred area where families gather before their loved one returns to American soil. The room I remember most was set aside to give children of the fallen a place to cope. My eyes welled as I scanned the toys, books and video games until finally I noticed a large chalk board filled with writing.

As I read the notes, one struck me as something I've heard from my own children. The words "we'll miss you daddy" were carefully scrawled out in chalk. The thought of one of my own boys writing or saying this for the last time tore at my emotions the rest of the day. There's not a week goes by when I don't think of these words and strive to provide an extra hug in the morning or an extra minute of book reading.

Second, I read a book called "Every Day a Friday" by Joel Osteen. I'm not sure what guided me toward this book, but I wanted to buy something for Shannon other than a t-shirt from Texas. I did feel somewhat compelled to actually read the book before handing it over, so I challenged myself to complete it before landing in Philadelphia. As I read each chapter, I realized this book was also going to help me.

The premise of Osteen's book is how to be happy seven days a week. He drives home an idea that the catalyst behind being happy is how you look at things. In other words, if you go through life complaining about how terrible things are, life will, more often than not, remain terrible. However, if you retool your approach to every life event and view them as an opportunity and a blessing, then you'll take charge of your attitude towards life and things will become manageable.

Both events reminded me that you can control your attitude by changing your perspective. It's often easier to view every obstacle as another reason not to be happy. The biggest challenge is to change how you look at life's stressors. The fact that I get to hear my kids say "we'll miss you daddy" makes my life less stressful and releases the burdens life throws my way. Listening to one of my favorite songs by the Eagles, "Already Gone", I'm reminded "so often time it happens, we all live our life in chains, and we never even know we have the key." I challenge you to take your key, unlock the chains of negative thought, and unleash your positive attitude.