Have You Been Yelled At Lately?

  • Published
  • By Maj. Eliot A. Sasson
  • 436th Maintenance Squadron commander
DOVER AIR FORCE BASE, Del. --  So, what's your answer? Have you? Most people would take pride in answering this question with a resounding NO.

After all, you're good at your job, right? In fact, you probably think you're the best! And you take pride in knowing that you set the example that everyone else in your work center aspires to achieve. So why would you get yelled at? If this is your answer, then I only have one thing to say ... I'm sorry.

Have you ever read the book (or watched) "The Last Lecture" by Dr. Randy Pausch? If not, you are truly missing out on one of the treats in life (I recommend going the easy route ... it's readily available on YouTube).

In short, Dr. Pausch was diagnosed with terminal cancer and gave a "last lecture" on achieving childhood dreams. For him, one of those dreams was to become a football player, and he tells a story about his head coach yelling at him during practice.

During a break, he confided in another coach that it was bothering him that he kept getting yelled at. In a moment of inspiration, the coach's reply was something along the lines of "Don't worry if he's yelling at you. What you need to worry about is if he stops yelling at you, because it means he's given up on you."

Wow! A life-changing revelation had just happened by watching a YouTube video. Who would have guessed that could happen?

I instantly flashed back to all those times when I felt like I could do nothing right. There I was, back on my high school soccer field not trapping the ball properly; and at basic training with an MTI in my face because my uniform wasn't perfect; and on a deployed flight line in Southwest Asia with an irate group commander because of a decision I made; and the list goes on (and, I regret to say, on, and on, and on ... ).

I recognized in their own way, some more cordially than others, each of those people told me "I believe in you," "you are worth my investment," and "I love you." Talk about a humbling moment.

And now here I sit, a squadron commander. Now, I'm the coach. On a daily basis, I am confronted with countless issues. Most are exceptionally positive, like watching Senior Airman Naomi Scott, who was recently chosen to represent Team Dover in the AMC Icon competition (which I have no doubt she'll win), or cheering on the 436 Maintenance Squadron softball team to its third consecutive base championship, or leading Team MXS to yet another trophy for the highest participation rate in the Wing Warrior Run, or in observing the daily heroics of the dedicated warriors of the 436th and 512th Maintenance Squadrons, who dedicate their hearts and souls to keeping the wing's beautiful gray T-tails in the sky (and thankfully the list goes on, and on, and on. Do I have a great job or what?).

But unfortunately, part of my job is also to ensure everyone is held to a high standard, and that often involves uncomfortable conversations. It means ensuring unsatisfactory performance is addressed, failing PT scores are corrected, and people are held accountable for their actions. In short, and in the context of this article, it means yelling at people (or mentoring, or direct feedback, or ... well, you get the point).

Nobody wants to be the bad guy, but every time I am forced into a situation where I have to host someone in front of my desk, I think back to Randy Pausch's story and how it made me feel. Of course they don't want to be yelled at, and I don't enjoy being on the delivering end of the conversation either.

But I know the short-term disappointment I felt by being told I messed up has made me into a better leader, a better Airman, and a better person and it would be irresponsible of me to deprive my Airmen of the opportunity to let them know "I believe in them," "they are worth my investment," and "I love them."

So when you have the opportunity to give someone direct feedback, don't let it pass by. You are doing your people and your Air Force an injustice if you take the easy way out. Difficult conversations are hard on both parties, but they are essential to making each other and our great Air Force even better. Have you been yelled at lately? For your sake, I hope so.