Balancing Life: The Areas that Matter Most

  • Published
  • By Maj. James Wall
  • 436th Maintenance Squadron commander
DOVER AIR FORCE BASE, Del. --  Have you ever caught yourself saying, "If only I had one more hour in the day," or perhaps you find yourself spending more time at work than you intended? On the surface, priorities seem obvious and while they can vary from day to day and even hour to hour, we should understand what is important in our daily compass. It is our compass that should drive higher priorities over those that may be less important. Like many of you, as an Airman, husband, father, and son, I often find myself challenged with balancing life's priorities.

It wasn't until I arrived to Dover AFB, my eleventh assignment, that I realized what truly matters most to me. Having raised two grown children-- our daughter is a senior in college and our son will enter his senior year in high school-- how quickly time has flown by and it hit me like a ton of bricks when I reflect on how much of their lives and events I have missed. While I wouldn't trade my military career or the dual military careers that my wife and I have shared, this recent assignment has driven us to be geographically separated. It has proven to be challenging and more of a dynamic life balance than we've ever experienced. I travel most weekends from Dover to Langley Air Force Base, Virginia to spend time with my wife and son. I have found that my drive time gives me a lot of time to reflect on balancing life and my priorities. 

What I have learned during this drive throughout the past year is that first, while not ideal, being geographically separated allows me to give 100 percent to my Air Force family and the 650 plus Airmen that I command throughout the week. In-turn, this affords me some breathing room on the weekends to relax with my immediate family. The changes in today's Air Force climate have created a lot of challenges for our Airmen and it has never been more important to find harmony in daily endeavors.

I have also learned there are no "redos" with your children.  I cannot redo attendance at a school assembly, being there for the first tooth pulled, cheering my child on at a football game, or being present for a parent teacher conference, but there are some areas in my professional life that I could have redone.  I could have chosen to go home rather than spend that extra hour at work. I could have been more deliberate with my lunch hours and taken my children to lunch when they were young. I could have volunteered for one less temporary duty, and I could have captured more video of my time with my children. While it is important to be technically proficient and a well-rounded Airman, do not let those most important to you (whether single or married) pass you by. Don't find yourself in a future "shoulda, coulda, woulda," situation when you have the means to apply that balance today.

While I am making up for lost time with my kids now, I realize that sometimes you have to go through the struggle, in order to understand it. I could not ask for a more understanding family and while it has not always been easy, I appreciate the current circumstances that have helped me gain a greater appreciation for the priorities that I have in my life in regards to both my immediate and my Air Force families. Finally, I have realized that having it all doesn't mean doing it all. I would challenge anyone reading this article to reflect on how you are currently balancing life's priorities. Are you are putting your efforts where they are most likely to pay off?