In This Family, You Are Never Alone

  • Published
  • By Maj. Anthony A. Truette
  • 736th Aircraft Maintenance Squadron commander
DOVER AIR FORCE BASE, Del. --  When people talk about their family life, most everyone tends to talk about their direct blood relations back in their home town. But for those of us in the military, the term "family" covers a much broader scope.  When you join the Air Force, you become a part of something much bigger than yourself. You not only become a member of an elite, professional organization. You also become a part of the greater military family. But what does that really mean?

Each and every one of us has our own definition of the term family and what a family should look like. To the average person, your family includes your spouse, children, mother, father, brother, sister and grandparents. But that is only partially correct. 

To me the word family can be broken down into three distinct groups - the immediate, the extended and the associative family. These three groupings play a rather unique and very crucial role in guiding us to be responsible, caring and accountable while refining our development as individuals and to a greater extent as representatives of our military.

For me the immediate family is made up of my closest loved ones, in this case my wife of almost 15 years and our two children. For those that have not found their soul mate yet, immediate family could mean your parents, grandparents or siblings.

This group refers to the people whom you trust the most. In return these loved ones were and are the ones that provided the life-shaping guidance and advice to establish the bedrock for our foundation as adults. Thus, our immediate family provides us with that sense of responsibility and understanding of what is right and wrong.

Inherently we always want to do right by them ensuring we do not disappoint them with our decisions and actions. Often times when we are faced with a decision we ask ourselves "What would mom do?"; "What would dad do?" or "How will this affect my wife/husband and children?"  The foundation of our decision making matrix is very often built by this group of people. The influences they impart in our lives enable us to make sound decisions, which down the road afford us an opportunity for personal growth. It is at this point where we build upon the lessons and experiences of the extended family.

The extended family might be made up of our next closest loved ones, potentially our grandparents, uncles, aunts or even cousins, as well as our spouse's family. This group includes those people whom we also place great trust in and turn to for a different perspective on life's lessons because often times their lives have ventured outside of our immediate families. Often times the extended family members relate their lessons with stories or anecdotes about how, when faced with difficult decisions, they came to their conclusions.

Our family members also play a huge role in our lives by providing love and support for us when we are experiencing periods of isolation, despair or loneliness. Often times these moments come when we are removed from the daily interaction with our immediate and extended family members. These times come to us all at different periods in our lives. For me this period came when I received an out-of-cycle short-notice assignment for a remote tour as an Advisor to the Royal Saudi Air Force in Tabuk, Saudi Arabia. As you can imagine, this sudden stressor weighed on not just me, but also on my wife and kids. We had each other to lean on, but we were in uncharted land and found ourselves searching for advice on handling this journey and for a source for greater inner strength. We received that comfort and support from our associative family.

The associative family can take the form of friends, church members, and your fellow squadron members. The military prides itself in filling the void which is left by our immediate or extended family whether in a time of crisis, despair or just in everyday social interaction. The military family prides itself on always being there for the needs of its members. 

All of our lives we have embraced our immediate and extended family members and now I challenge all of you reading this to go out and embrace the warmth and hospitality of our associative family members and to thank them for all that they do for us and the support they provide us when we need it the most. We have all taken a solemn oath to serve our country to support and defend their rights as American citizens. In return, they often go above and beyond to ensure that our contributions and sacrifices do not go unnoticed.

Our family, be it immediate, extended, associative or whatever title you hang on it, surrounds us at all times teaching us invaluable lessons and providing us with the tools to make the right decisions and invest great amounts of their own personal collateral in our well-being. As a military family, we are always here for one another with the sole intent to pay it forward by delivering EXCELLENCE each and every day. This in turn pays great dividends in the long run by making each and every one of us the hallmark representative of our country. By striving to develop service members who are both mentally and physically resilient, we as a military family are better equipped to provide our great nation the level of protection it has become accustomed to and deserves.