Plans for the holidays

  • Published
  • By Lt. Col. Michael Phillips
  • 436th Mission Support Group deputy commander
DOVER AIR FORCE BASE, Del. --  "Do you have plans for the holidays?" As the rest of the Mission Support Group staff and I made our way around the myriad of luncheons, parties and get togethers focused on the holidays, I cannot begin to tell you the number of times I was asked this question. Heck, I'll admit, I even asked it many times myself.

The question reminded me of SSgt Rick Kievert and his lovely wife, Pam. Rick was assigned to the Chaplain's Office at the Air Force Academy where I was enrolled. He wasn't a SNCO, so he couldn't be an official "sponsor" of cadets, but still our personalities clicked and before I knew it I was spending every Tuesday at his house on base for our favorite TV show, "Home Improvement".

Rick taught me the lessons you will never find in a textbook or won't be included during professional military education. He taught me how to not talk 'to' people, but how to listen and communicate 'with' them. He taught me the brilliance of eating tacos from a deep bowl instead of a plate (if you don't believe me, give it a try). And he gave me my first salute as a brand new Second Lieutenant. This was my first exposure to the Air Force "Family".

As a squadron commander, I'd call on him for advice on personnel issues. Years later I had the pleasure of officiating his retirement ceremony.

That memory led to another a few years later, Colonel Dave Hankins and his incredibly giving wife, Becky. I was his executive officer and, at the time, I was dating my future wife. They, like the Kieverts, welcomed us into their home as family. He mentored me in the importance of caring for our Airmen and their families. His and Becky's selfless attitude was an example many wanted to follow, but few were able to mimic. They sat in the front row of the church at our wedding, next to my parents, and drove home just how important our family in blue was to our success as an Air Force couple.

As the years went by and we were fortunate to meet other incredible mentors and appreciate not only the family we'd built, but the Air Force family we'd been nurtured in. There are far too many to mention here, but suffice to say we spent many holiday dinners with this extended family.

But over time we realized we had become "the older folks" and soon rather than us heading to someone else's for dinner, we ended up with a myriad of lieutenants gathering at our house for the holidays, playing with our kids and helping our Air Force family to grow.

Each of us in the military is fortunate to experience friendships like these and many more. I was blessed with incredible mentors who didn't see just a young, hungry Lieutenant, but welcomed me into their homes with the intent of shaping the leader I would become.

And thus I submit, "Do you have plans for the holidays?" needs to be more than just small talk. The holidays can be one of the toughest for Airmen of all ranks and ages. Often times duty calls, budgets are tight, and the ability to get back home with blood relatives is impaired. According to the Air Force Personnel Center, at least one third of all active duty Airmen are single. Others are still very young newlyweds just starting out on their own.

So what's on your table this holiday? Is there room to pull up an extra chair? Are you making small talk, or are you genuinely concerned about where your Airmen are spending the holidays? Trust me, you'll never fully appreciate the impact you'll have by simply extending an invite and making them feel a part of our Air Force Family.